List of Things to Do Before I Die
The only thing that I have ever truly wanted was to be with a guy that I really love who loves me back and to live a good life with him with lots of love.
Right now, my job and my health are not where I want them to be. My job is....1/10th of what I wanted by the time I was 28. My health is...1/10th of what I deserved.
I love Jonathan. This is a truth. If I cannot be good with him, I have failed.
I am in so much physical pain. I cannot live like this.
So I have a plan. Before I met Jonathan, I was going to go to Montreal, take circus class, and then freeze over the winter. I met Jonathan. He extended my life span by a bit. Made me believe. I still want it. I don't want to die. I love him. This pain is just so much. I am not poor enough to freeze. But I can go there anyways.
Promise to myself: before I leave him, I have to get the abs. I must do this. It is the only thing left in my control. I will show him my abs. It will be lovely. I will be so grateful for this opportunity. I will blow the bubbles. I will throw the poppers. I will tell him that he is beautiful and lovely. That I am so lucky to have met him. I am so lucky to be able to see him again. It doesn't even matter. If this pain is going to kill me, it doesn't really matter.
Right now, my job and my health are not where I want them to be. My job is....1/10th of what I wanted by the time I was 28. My health is...1/10th of what I deserved.
I love Jonathan. This is a truth. If I cannot be good with him, I have failed.
I am in so much physical pain. I cannot live like this.
So I have a plan. Before I met Jonathan, I was going to go to Montreal, take circus class, and then freeze over the winter. I met Jonathan. He extended my life span by a bit. Made me believe. I still want it. I don't want to die. I love him. This pain is just so much. I am not poor enough to freeze. But I can go there anyways.
Promise to myself: before I leave him, I have to get the abs. I must do this. It is the only thing left in my control. I will show him my abs. It will be lovely. I will be so grateful for this opportunity. I will blow the bubbles. I will throw the poppers. I will tell him that he is beautiful and lovely. That I am so lucky to have met him. I am so lucky to be able to see him again. It doesn't even matter. If this pain is going to kill me, it doesn't really matter.
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