Please God

Please God.

Do not do this to me.

I love him.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I just want whatever makes me beautiful and happy

I am living in a tiny little cabin in a person's backyard. It's kind of interesting. I originally wanted to switch into the internal room, which would cost about 180 Euros more, but actually now that I've cleaned up my shit the hut is kind of cute. I do still want my guy, I am just...not really in a position to do anything about it. Honestly, it's just like when I was young and I was meant to be skating and being happy and instead I was getting beaten for my attitude and being generally unhappy. I don't know. I just want to be in a situation where I wake up every day being right with the world. I haven't gotten there yet, is all.
Read more

I Deserve

I deserve infinite good things.  But I am not greedy.  I had my beautiful, lovely guy. I had my sort-of health. I had my baseline money. I had my baseline travel.  Life was not good, but I was willing to work to improve it.  But now, I have...a guy who is far away. Health that is hurting me not to the point of death but just to this edge of insanity. Money that is fast becoming not worth it. And negative travel.  I do not deserve this life.  I deserve...to work at a law firm in Manhattan and be good with Jordan and travel around the world and eat good food and do fun sports and happy Christmases. I deserve...to work at a law firm in the Palo Alto area and love Jonathan and live around the world without being in constant physical pain.
Read more

List of Things to Do Before I Die

The only thing that I have ever truly wanted was to be with a guy that I really love who loves me back and to live a good life with him with lots of love. Right now, my job and my health are not where I want them to be. My job is....1/10th of what I wanted by the time I was 28. My health is...1/10th of what I deserved. I love Jonathan. This is a truth. If I cannot be good with him, I have failed. I am in so much physical pain. I cannot live like this. So I have a plan. Before I met Jonathan, I was going to go to Montreal, take circus class, and then freeze over the winter. I met Jonathan. He extended my life span by a bit. Made me believe. I still want it. I don't want to die. I love him. This pain is just so much. I am not poor enough to freeze. But I can go there anyways. Promise to myself: before I leave him, I have to get the abs. I must do this. It is the only thing left in my control. I will show him my abs. It will be lovely. I will be so grateful for this opportun...
Read more