Panic Attacks and Wellness Discussion

9AM

My panic attacks are not getting worse, but they are happening enough for me to not like the situation. 

My tooth pain is not getting better. It is a constant headache. 

Plateau at 25.5 inches for waist. 

2PM

Had a sudden panic attack that even if Jonathan said we could stay together, life would destroy me. Please God, make the other parts of my life good and let me have Jonathan. I love him. Let me have this bit of happiness. Stop hurting me.

The second panic attack of the day. 

3PM

Focus on the good vision. Just focus on the one good vision. I am so lucky to be good with Jonathan. So lucky. 

Some people get to have health, love, money, family, friends, wellness. 

I get to have Jonathan. And when Jonathan leaves, I can go to Montreal and kill myself. It's okay. I love him so much. If the world is going to do this to me, it's not worth it anymore. 

I can no longer live with the pain. 

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